From the Almanac

by Betty Jane Wilson, society president

The household almanac, gem of the family reference texts, unique in dispensation of Zodiac mysteries, chronological cycles, weather conditions, and countless household hints, medical advice, and bits of humor survives the centuries.

No less popular in the late 1890s, The Hostetters Illustrated United States Almanacs provided sage sayings, wit and wisdom in the language of the century as follows:

“There are many ways to convince a man, but the easiest way is to agree with him.”

“Beeswax and salt will make your rusty flat irons as clean and smooth as glass. Lump the wax in a rag and keep for that purpose. When the irons are hot, rub them first with a wax rag, then scour with a paper or cloth sprinkled with salt.”

“What is a cigar, I want you to tell me?” lisped little Tom Brown to his knowing big brother. “It’s a roll,” was the answer, “of silly enchantment, with a fire at one end, and a fool at the other.”

“For ingrowing toe nails, cut the end square and close and scrape with a sharp knife or piece of glass, a line in the center of the top of the nail so thin that only the inner lining of the nail is left. If this is kept up the edges will raise instead of growing down.”

“To make roses bloom, scrape from the chimney or stove pipe where wood is used for fuel, a quantity of soot, put into a vessel and pour boiling water over it. Let it stand for a few days, and then use the liquid to water the earth around the plants. The application should be made every two or three days.”

“When a clock strikes, it’s working, but when a man strikes, he isn’t.”

“The region where no man hath ever set is called tomorrow.”

“Waterproof paste for boots and shoes — Melt in an earthenware pot, 6 parts of spermaceti, add 12 parts of cadutchouc cut up very fine, and when this is dissolved, further add 12 parts of tallow, 4 parts of lard, and 8 parts of amber varnish. Mix and it is ready to use. Apply as ordinary with a brush. It gives a good gloss.”

“The lamb and the lion may lie down together, but the lion will be the only one to get up.”

The Valley Falls Historical Society Museum will be open from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 3.
2010 calendars are now available at the museum.